Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
