is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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