Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
