Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
