it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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