Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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