You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
