I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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