How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
