You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
