I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
