She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Terrible idea I love it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
