Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
