I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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