We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
the liver wants what the liver wants
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
