Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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