his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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