East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize