I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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