i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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