You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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