i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
