I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
