I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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