youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
