In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
