You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
