that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
