The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
