Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
