You really coming over, don't trick.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
