if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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