the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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