Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
