you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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