i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
