If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
