u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
