Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
