Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
