I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
