maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
