boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
