let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
