I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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