well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
