you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
