Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Two words: blizzard sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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