garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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