i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
