Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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