i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
