just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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